May 16, 2005

• Attention, URine Trouble!

  
  

  Recently, by visiting a friend’s bathroom (who will remain nameless but is on my xanga list). I noticed a huge flaw in the architecture and design of certain bathrooms. IF YOUR toothbrush holder is near your toilet, I have news for you. Ladies you may not understand.

  
  

  After a male goes to the toilet to relief himself, there may still be some leftover fluid that he has not been able to extricate due to the loss of pressure from the emptying of the bladder.  As a result, he uses his sphincter muscle to squeeze the remnants. The last drips are then physically SHAKEN out of the penis (similar to getting the last drops of gas out of the fuel pump).  However, as the male shakes the drops, more often than not, it does NOT drop into the toilet, but splashes across the rim, the floor, the wall, the sink and YES, the toothbrush holder.  Now WHY WHY WHY would anyone purposely put their toothbrushes near the area of most rain? Next time a guy urinates, try to watch or place your hands anywhere in the vicinity of the shakes (like near the toothbrush) and you will feel small miniscule droplets as he’s doing the Shake, Rattle and Roll. I will illustrate:

  
  

   Notice the toothbrushes are within easy reach of Red man’s range (actually his pelvic area should’ve been drawn higher).

  
  

   Notice, this is a fixated brush holder where the owner has no choice but to salt his teeth every night.

  
  

   This demonstrates that liquids are not prejudiced. It can cover ALL directions and can easily be absorbed by the stupidly designed fluffy pink toilet cover.

  
  

  May I suggest putting your toothbrushes, contact lenses, medicine or anything else on the FAR side of the sink.  Does anyone recognize any of the bathrooms above?  Don’t be embarrassed. A public service message by Weezguy.

  
  

   

  
  

  A fun song: If you wanna be happy by Jimmy Soul topped the charts in 1963 and was also featured in the movie: My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) starring Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, and Cameron Diaz

  
  

  If you wanna be happy
  For the rest of your life,
  Never make a pretty woman your wife,
  So from my personal point of view,
  Get an ugly girl to marry you.
  
  A pretty woman makes her husband look small
  And very often causes his downfall.
  As soon as he marries her
  Then she starts to do
  The things that will break his heart.
  But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
  You’ll be happy for the rest of your life,
  An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
  She’ll always give you peace of mind.
  
  Don’t let your friends say
  You have no taste,
  Go ahead and marry anyway,
  Though her face is ugly,
  Her eyes don’t match,
  Take it from me she’s a better catch.
  
  Say man.
  Hey baby.
  Saw your wife the other day.
  Yeah?
  Yeah, she’s ugly.
  Yeah, she’s ugly but she sure can cook.
  Yeah?. Okay.
  

  • 2:23 am
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