March 18, 2005

• Weezguy’s Chicken Soup for the soul (and the ladies)

  
  

  Happy St. patty’s day: origin of holiday on bottom.

  
  

                                                        

  
  

  Recently, one of my hot female neighbors (which is off limits, never date anyone who lives on your floor, (too weird)) came down w/ a little bit of the cold. So in an act of kindness (and experimentation, hehe) I decided to get her some chicken soup. Campbell’s? nooooo. Deli? nooooooo. Au Bon Pain? oh hell no. Never buy anything from a place that sounds like a bunch of hurt. Anyway, to help soothe the symptoms of stuffy noses and sore throat, I decided to COOK fresh chicken soup for my hot neighbor. Gee I’m such a good neighbor, you should call me Mr. Rogers.

  
  

  

  
  

  Chicken soup is well-known for its healthy properties. At the University of Nebraska Medical Center in America, researchers found that chicken soup (even when diluted with water) has anti-inflammatory properties that help soothe cold-ridden stuffy noses and sore throats. Beyond being rich in protein and vegetables, it¡¯s widely believed that chicken soup acts as a placebo because it is generally prepared as a type of comfort food that warms one¡¯s insides.

  
  

  Well someone whip me from the tail of a black and white horse. As my friend ForevaFighter said “guys who can cook are so sexy”. Well you don’t have to tell me twice. I put it all together. Ever hear the phrase “a way to a man’s heart is thru his stomach”. Well it works w/ women too I shall start a new phrase “a way to a woman’s pants is thru her mouth”. Oh stop it, you know it’s partially true (as long as she likes you a little bit at least). Women love food. They’ll eat anything. If it smells divine, looks exquisite, tastes orgasmic, (and costs a fortune)…………… you know they’re eating it. Why do you think the FoodNetwork is so popular?  Where else can a guy say BAMM (as opposed to Wham Bamm thank u ma……) and rise to celebrity and desired status? The combination of all 5 senses in utter delight just melts a woman’s soul:

  
  

                                                             

  
  

  
  1. Sight: just watching your man slave away at the stove, doesn’t that make dominating women just water? The mere sight of him, cooking for YOU, is as romantic as several dozen roses.
  2. Hearing: Just the sound of food being fried, steamed, boiled, chopped, and the pots and pans clanging away. Knowing that even when you’re watching tv in the living room, you can hear him prepare dishes for you, is such comfort.
  3. Smell: OMG can u just savor the flavourful aroma as it teases your nostrils. Even if it is curry fish and starts peel the paint of the walls days later.
  4. Taste: The juicy, succulent, spicy, sauces, meet, and vegetables all marinated nicely to create a heavenly delight to the tongue as you savour each spoonful (or chopstickful) of delicious love.
  5. Touch: How the texture of the food touches your mouth but more importantly your soul as you know it was cooked for you. Not too burnt or crunchy, and not to raw, (just like any man).

  
  

  Damn, no wonder I’m all wet……………  With sweat of course, don’t know what you’re thinking.  Nevertheless, a combination of the physical tastes of food combined w/ the intoxicating aroma, and love and comfort melts any girl’s heart. Am I wrong ladies? For those who know me,  I’m not really a food person, but nonetheless the only persons I have ever cooked for are gf’s. Why? Because if you care about someone, and love someone, and want to make them happy, always always always, show them, that even tho you don’t like food that much, you will sacrifice yourself, and your time, because they are that special to you. Oh yea, plus you get rewarded in other ways.

  
  

  Simplified version for you kitchen klutzy guys:

  
  

  Weezguy’s own recipe chicken soup (serious, I did it myself), you can adjust ingredients based on ur own tastes.

  
  

  1/2 uncooked raw chicken (personally, I prefer just buying Drumsticks, Thighs and Wings) make sure it has all the Bones in it (no boneless meat).
  1 pot, about a gallon size should be enough (if ur too dumb, to figure out how much a gallon is, put two 1/2 gallon milk containers or 2 litre soda bottles, [2 litres are approx 1/2 gallon] in the pot to measure)
  1 small onion (chopped to very small pieces to add sweetness)
  2 potatoes (cut to bite sized stew pieces, we’re not making french fries here)
  1 cup chopped carrots (preferably fresh, but for u lazy asses, frozen will do)
  1 cup green peas (same as above)
  1 cup corn (ditto)
  remember, NEVER NEVER buy canned goods, you want fresh and delicious, not preserved, so ur body will never rot once you die
  3 tablespoons Tabasco sauce (don’t worry, not spicy enough that you will burn)
  3 teaspoons of salt
  1/2 lb of pasta (8 ounces), macaroni, or some sexy twisty ones are fine too. Just don’t be stupid and put in spaghetti, you want to eat it w/ a spoon.
  1/2 cup of corn starch (more if you want a thicker soup)
  1/2 clove of garlic (or garlic powder will do)
  finely chopped basil leaves (or spice bottle)
  Oregano spice
  Parsley flakes (chopped or spice bottle)
  Black Pepper
  25 ounces of chicken broth canned (to get a head start)
  1 can of potato soup

  
  

  The secret to a great chicken soup, is that you can never overcook it. You need time to get the flavour out of the chicken and bones into the soup. Take the chicken and rinse it under water for a minute or so (to get the dusty crap out of the supermarket packaging). Fill 3/4 of the pot w/ water and boil it.  Place the chicken into the pot and simmer (reduce the heat) at a slow boil for at least an hour while skimming the fat off the surface of the water as needed. After an hour, remove the chicken from the pot, and start stripping the chicken from the bones. It should be soft enough to do so by now. Throw away all the small bones and anything unedible. Keep the big bones (such as the drumstick bones) Place the chicken meat and the big bones back into the water (we want to get as much of the flavour out of the bones and into the soup). Add the chicken broth, potato soup, garlic, Tabasco sauce, salt, basil, oregano, parsley, and black pepper and simmer (partially covered) for 1/2 hour. Next add the potatoes, onions and macaroni to the pot and cook for another 1/2 hour.

  
  

  It is at this point when the girl you invite should come over. Always, always invite the girl to come over BEFORE the soup is ready. Why? Because by this time, the aroma and gentle cooking of the soup create an environment that is warm and cozy. This is the equivalent of foreplay ladies and gentleman. The tantalizing teasing smell of the warm soup is in the air, and it just makes it that much more dreamy to have what you CAN’T have (at least not yet, until the chicken is cooking). Now, make sure the girl sees, the pots and pans scurried about, the peeled potato skins, and sliced vegetable pieces. This shows that you went thru an extraordinary amount of work for her and will only make her want to reward you later for all the TLC you showed her. Tease her, while she is waiting, you are in the kitchen preparing the last pieces of the soup. She will crave the soup amongst other things while you finish cooking.

  
  

  

  
  

  Remove the chicken bones from the soup and discard. By this time you have enough flavour out of them.  Add the remaining vegetables.  Next take the corn starch and mix w/ a glassful of water, enough to dissolve the corn starch into the water (never pour the corn starch directly into the soup, it has to be liquefied first). Pour the corn starch liquid into the soup. Cook for another 30 minutes and serve. By this time the girl will be all over you. Chicken Soup for the soul, all right. Enjoy ur evening, oh and the soup too!

  
  

  theme song: Franki Valli #1 in 1967: Can’t take my eyes off of you

  
  

  You’re just too good to be true. 
  Can’t take my eyes off you.
  You’d be like heaven to touch. 
  I wanna hold you so much.
  At long last love has arrived. 
  And I thank God I’m alive.
  You’re just too good to be true. 
  Can’t take my eyes off you.
  
  Pardon the way that I stare. 
  There’s nothing else to compare.
  The sight of you leaves me weak. 
  There are no words left to speak.
  But if you feel like I feel. 
  Please let me know that it’s real.
  You’re just too good to be true. 
  Can’t take my eyes off you.
  
  I love you baby, and if it’s quite all right,
  I need you baby to warm the lonely night. 
  I love you baby.
  Trust in me when I say:
  Oh pretty baby, don’t bring me down, I pray. 
  Oh pretty baby, now that I found you.  Stay.

  
  

  
  

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  St. Patrick died in the 5th century. He was born in Wales, but brought Christianity to Ireland after being captured by some Irish raiders and escaping. He created missionaries and converted many people. His death on March 17 became a holiday. During lent, when you can’t consume meat, they used it as an exception, to eat meat drink etc.

  
  

  During the 19th century, during the great potato famine, thousnads of poor Irish moved to America where they were treated as lowest class. They were treated as drunken fools on St Patrick’s day when they celebreate and drank to a stooper. This is probably the origin of how it is celebrated today.

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