October 27, 2003

• Halloween is Coming, and guess what?

  
  

  Update: Due to popular demand, I will post pictures of my Halloween Costume after the XO party this Friday, stay tuned!!

  
  

   

  
  

  How do you concoct a hilarious night based on the above ingredients? Take one False Gold Tooth denture product (available for $19.99 at your neighborhood costume store) [on the left side] and one hideous black wig [above right] and mix together w/ a handsome guy and you will end up w/ the repulsive homeless looking guy [below].  Note: the picture has been warped to protect the identity of said handsome guy.  Next follow the directions below of how to apply the product to a hilarious night in a bar scene.

  
  

    On Saturday October 18, I went to Sin Bar in the Village for May’s b’day party.  Since I got there late, the bouncer was only letting ladies in since there were more guys inside. I guess he wasn’t really paying attention, because he just let me in because of the long hair.  Inside, EVERYONE just gave me the dirtiest look. Guys, girls just stared as they coudln’t believe that a homeless man w/ nasty ass teeth was in the club. Since I am about 5’10, from the back I just look like a nice luscious tall girl.  I was walking within the bar, when all the sudden somebody grabs my hand.  I thought “maybe it was one of my friends trying to show me to their friends”.  So I turned around to see who was holding my hand and it turned out to be some hispanic guy.  You should see the look of FRIGHT when he realized he was holding a guy’s hand.  And not only a guy, he was holding a hidious looking guy w/ missing teeth, and hair that looked it was freshly cut from a horse’s ass hahaha. He just froze there, and I decided to have some fun, so I rubbed his back, and he just froze in sheer terror.  LADIES, how many nasty ass guys have come hit on you and felt you up?  Well I got him back for all you ladies. He’ll think twice before coming up to any girl again.

  
  

  Well, I went w/ one guy friend and one girl friend so we had a plan.  There were some girls dancing at Sin Bar and my girl friend goes up to them and says “I have a friend who wants to meet you girls, but he’s kinda shy, will you say hi to him?”,  then she points to my guy friend (w/ me standing behind him).  The girls said ok, and when she beckons him to come over their way, I came out behind my guy friend instead and started walking towards them.  There was a sudden terror and fear on the faces of the girls that I hard a hard time from not laughing.  I can see them say to their friend “NO NO, not him!!” Then, w/ the teeth in my mouth, I sounded like a had a speech impedement. We did this to about 10 unsuspecting girls, and about 1/2 of them were really nice and polite (see you can find nice girls at bars) and the other 1/2 just wanted to run.  Which answers a more philosophical question, when dangers faces you, would you run?

  
  

  While going up to these girls and introducing myself, my friends were cracking up behind me laughing at the scared S*itless girls.  The girls were wondering why my friends were laughing so hard.  Later on, she called my friends such A**HOLES.  “It’s not his fault he was born that way” she said to them.  HAHAHAAHA, these poor girls never knew it was a costume.  So to those girls at Sin Bar that night, I’m sorry for the practical joke, but the look on your faces were just soooo worth it.

  
  

  Right before we left, I told one girl to grind me and to kiss me in the middle of the dance floor in front of everyone.  I wanted to see the looks on everyone’s face. So we went on the dance floor grinded, and then I jumped up and down to attract attention and then stuck our faces together under the wig hahahahaha.  I took a peek out of my eye, and saw complete and utter disgust as people thought we were really making out like crazy.  I wanted her to lick my teeth, but that would have just get me kicked out.  I can hear things in the background “ewwww, that’s so gross”  “did you see that, she’s making out w/ that retarded guy” “oh my god” etc. etc.

  
  

  Ok, so I’m evil, but it’s amazing how $35 worth of props can be much more fun, than $100 worth of drinks.  So the next time, you see something repulsive, take time to think and remember, what you see is not always what you get. Watch out for me at this year’s Halloween party 

  • 8:25 pm
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