January 22, 2003

• What Women ALSO Want (part2)!

                   

  Here’s the Sequel to the Successful What Women Want guide (What Guys Want is next). If you didn’t read part 1, PLEASE read it on the January 7,2003 entry first as some things build upon it. To Guys: this is the advanced level, once you can master the Beginner Bunny slope level on part 1 come back here (kids, don’t try this at home). Based on Part 1′s feedback, I’d like to again mention that there are MANY exceptions. With much trepidation here is What Women ALSO Want.

  OK, in part 1 we established in general that girls want a guy who is Taller, Older, Attractive (not necessarily physically attractive), Mature, Caring, Funny, Smart, and oh yeah Honest. Duh, really? Now as we all know, all girls (well except lesbians) want THE perfect man, but does he exist? This can be derived from the mindset of how a young naive girl develops into a woman.

  To try to solve the ancient mysteries of women, we have to look at history. Yes guys, you are looking at an exclusive. No where in history has anybody (in written record) been able to crack the female code. It’s not in the Bible, not in the Koran, nor in Buddhist Temples where clueless monks just chant I don’t know 5389 times. We will have to take a journey back in time to the different stages of how a girl evolves.

  Childhood: Note that even at an early age of 7 or 8, girls are already playing w/ Barbie** and Ken dolls (Ken is already the bitch in this relationship) as well as playing house . At this early stage they are already trying to create the perfect fantasy family world in their little heads to trap guys of the future to fit their mold. They may not like guys yet, but already have reasons to blame them if they don’t fit their perfect childhood dream.

  Pre-Teen: Female humans start puberty earlier than their males counterparts. Around 10-13, they start to grow a carpet down there, nipples start to get sore, and perhaps some embarrassing release of bodily fluids. Meanwhile boys are still busy picking their noses and wiping it on people (not to mention laughing at girls w/ red stuff leaking down their pants). So it is no wonder that girls start to like older guys who are on the same pubecent level as them and who are more mature and understanding.  It is also at this time when they dream and plan their perfect wedding (or life sentence of a man).

  Teenager: Here is when hormones are starting to run wild. Innocent naive girls (who have never been emotionally hurt) start to get fascinated by taller, older, hot looking guys. Remember, they don’t know any better, they are scared, but excited at the same time (“do you think Brad will ask me to the dance?” <giggle giggle>). All this is compounded by other teenage girlfriends talking and doing the same thing. Girls get crushes at this stage and scream and leave notes, gossip and wear makeup that makes them look 18 when they are still jail-bait. Boys who are HS seniors are the most fortunate at this stage. Since they are “Seniors”, they are older, they can be on the football or basketball team, may have a nice ring, or drive a car, etc. (they have an “aura” about them”) and yet these unsuspecting girls dont’ know how much of an asshole guys are.

  College: OK folks.HERE is the crucial pivotal turning point in time where girls start to shift their wants. Having been screwed over by a couple of guys (in many ways I might add), she is no longer innocent nor native. Girls start to realize there is more to a guy than how attractive he is. Is he a player? Does he treat me good? Am I happy? What’s his major? Is he smart? etc. Now at this transitional stage she still has her perfect dream guy in her head and is willing to risk dating attractive guys in order to find her love. She is still young so she can date a poor guy w/ no car w/o feeling scared since there is plenty of time in the future. This could be one of the most fun times for girls. Her boobs (if she has some) and ass are still firm, her skin makes a baby’s butt jealous, guys are attracted to them like flies are to dog poop, they get free dinners, free drinks, free rides (well you get the picture) etc.etc. None of their friends are married so she can hang out w/ their girlfriends, go clubbing, bar hopping, house parties, get wasted, etc. They can enjoy sex since their old enough and cause it’s fun. This is the time where they are newly independent from their parents, and have as much fun as possible.

  On a side note based on the feedback from Part1 I will atempt to clarify the Penis Size Issue. From reading some studies on the correlation between size and pleasure, physically speaking the first 2 inches of a female’s vagina is where all the nerve endings are. So in theory a 2.5″ penis can give a girl the same amount of pleasure as an 8″ one. However, how often is sex strictly physical? Why is sex after an argument better? Why do people enjoy bondage, fetishes, fantasies, being naughty, etc? Because the psychological powers it brings greatly enhances love making. So when a girl sees a big penis for the first time, you can imagine the look on her face, the way her eyes light up, the excitement and fear at the same time. She may be scared but inside her head she wonders how climbing aboard the ride would be like. It stimulates the mind and adds to the psychological terror and pleasure which heightens imagination and excitement. So in that regards, size is better.  On the flip side, if the owner of such a massive tool is boring or an asshole, that guy will make the girl lose the excitement as time goes on. It’s similar to eating lobster everyday. The first couple of times it’s great, then it’s, ok, then you want a change, and at the end you just need something else. If a guy can’t offer a girl any other reason to stay, eventually she’ll leave. Therfore “a girl ain’t gonna stay w/ a big dick, if he is a big dick”.

  Post-Graduation: This is when fear for women start to set in. After partying and having nothing but fun for years, she realizes she is at a new chapter in her life. When a woman reaches her late 20s and up, and is not in a committal relationship or married, things start to turn nervous. The sun is setting down dear. She is trying to grasp the last of her youth before the breasts sag (if she has any), the wrinkles around the eyes show, the weight around her thighs grow, and more of her paycheck is allocated to the beauty salon, spa, and cosmetics counter.  She is not interested in hanging out as much anymore. After working all week, she is tired. Many of her friends may be taken, and she feels that she is more and more alone. “WHY CAN’T I FIND A GOOD MAN!” she shrieks. First of all, CALM DOWN GIRL, sheesh. She is interested in serious relationships (although small flings are possible). Good looking guys are lower on her priority list. As long as the guy is nice, caring, has a stable job, this may be good enough for her. As she gets even older, ugly will be acceptable. Later on, she decides, he may not even need a stable job. She is LESS picky. Remember how a guy treats a girl is more important in the long run than looks. If you are an ugly guy, this may be your chance to reel in a good catch. Just treat her nice and she is yours

  Engagement/Marriage: This is what women have been dreaming of since they were a little girl. So if you are lucky enough to find a soul mate for eternity, here’s a couple of words of advice: “Don’t F**K it up!”.  While guys may think of marriage as a tax deduction, a woman dreams of the perfect process. This includes the courting, proposal and wedding. In this age of the Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, etc. how you court a lady is just as important as how you look. If you are lucky enough to find someone you want to marry, make it a romantic setting. It doens’t mean expensive, but put thought into it. It can be something simple as where you first met, a far remote location, a small park where you prepare her favorite foods, to a public place where you want to show you love, but make sure it romantic, thoughtful, and has some magic feel to it.

  The Ring: This is it Guys. This rock is the mother of all keys to her heart, her future and her pants. Now, don’t even try to figure out why a diamond ring is so important (it’s another of her mysteries). I know, I know, you would rather have a new car instead of that expensive glass cutter, that just sits there on her finger. Swallow the pain man, just do it! A woman wants that beautiful glass cutter because it symbolizes many things. One, it’s damn expensive! It shows a guy is serious about the relationship, and her. Two, it shows that even though he has no idea what the big deal about a ring is, that fact that he still buys it means he’s thinking of her happiness over his. Three, a girl gets to show it to her friends, AND coworkers. She wants to be the envy of her friends AND MORE IMPORTANTLY her enemies. Girls are like that sometimes, they just want to make themselves feel better at the expense of that “calculating bitch”. And for some reason, they’ll find a way to “show off” that ring. Like they’ll fix their hair w/ the diamond sticking out. Or if they point to something w/ their ring hand near the person’s eyes. Or they’ll bring out the handlotion so they can rub their ring hand right in front of their gfs faces. And Lastly, it shows that a guy Loves them. But one curious question: If a guy buys a girl a ring, and she accepts, he will get her Love. But since the girl gets love AND a ring. Why don’t you see her buying the guy a Flat Screen TV in return?  Who gets the better deal?

  Well this is it for this 2nd edition. As in all sequels, it may not be as dynamic as the first. It’s a story that chronicles not just What, but Why Women think the way they do. Hopefully it would help some sad  clueless men out there.  However, for you ladies, there has been enough requests for “What Guys Want” so stay tuned and subscribe so you won’t miss it. There’s a lot to guys than most girls think, hehe. And forward me your requests for additional topics.

  Remember, if you have a bunch of “advanced” clueless guys you should email this to them. Again, this is written by a guy (w/o any help) so let me know how I did. I wrote this tongue in cheek so don’t be too harsh on me ok? (it’s meant to be funny) ;) There are a LOT of great single Women out there. Take the time to understand where they are coming from and you will have their heart. Oh and don’t forget to give me credit if you forward it

  ** Barbie is a registered trademark of Mattel Corp.

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