January 15, 2003
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The Guys and Girls Glance (is this flirting?)
I’m going to be interviewed on the radio (about the boring stock market and economy) so haven’t had time to prepare any entries. However, the next series of What People Want will be coming soon. Just give me ideas on what you’re interested in.
Anyways, now that I’m single, it’s interesting to go out and interact and perhaps flirt a little. Yesterday I went to Barnes & Noble @ Union Sq. to keep up with periodicals and current events. Anyways I saw several girls deep in thought reading books, studying or drinking Starbucks*** products. Now I’m asking myself (for the first time I may add, since I usually look and not ponder) do these girls really like those books that much or does this give them an opportunity to get out of the house, see friends or meet new people? Remember, bookstores are usually quiet, so if you hit on a girl, everyone in the surrounding 4 aisle radius will hear you get rejected. So a more “tactful” approach would be ideal.
Did you ever make eye contact w/ anyone awkwardly? It can either be an attractive person, or butt ugly, but you eyes just so happen to meet and you quickly pretend to look somewhere else. But one second after it registers in your brain, you’re thinking “that guy/girl is HOT”, or he/she is so gross you have a sudden urge to shower. But in either case, it is slightly amusing. So I decided I was gonna have fun and catch them in the eye and smile. I walked past this japanese girl who was on her cell, as I got closer, she looked up, I looked at her and smiled as I walked by. She looked and did that one second reflex “look away” but I saw her smile as she was talking on the phone. Too bad B&N was closing. Every girl that was heading down the escalator, I casually glanced at them and caught their eye and then smiled before they could look away. (Now I would like to stress, I didn’t just stare at them w/ a stupid smirk, I did a tactful glance, and a shy smile) I got about 5 smiles (but were embarrassed) 1 who looked back and smiled and one that turned completely away. hmmmm…
Now here’s the question. Why did the girls smile? I did this to attractive and non attractive girls. Remember it happens in a split second and is usually a reflex action so she has no time to think. Is it because they like the guy? Or perhaps they are caught off guard and happy that they think a guy is interested in them? Or something pleasantly unexpected happens? Or secretly inside the need to be liked is quickly fulfilled and brings an uncontrollable smile. I think it is a combination of a couple of these things. And do you know how sometimes when you pass by someone you can smell their scent? Hopefully you’re wearing cologne/perfume cuz when you are passing by smelling like armpit, it’s a TURN OFF. And after you pass by and you “sneak a peek” and see them sneeking a peek back, you may smile too cuz it is quite amusing.
(update: based on the feedback so far, I didn’t do a thanx for holding the door for you courtesy smile. I looked at them in the eye and then smiled a little at them like they were HOT {even though they weren’t} so there was no confusion, haha)
*** Starbucks is a registered trademark of Starbucks Corporation
see? girls sometimes are even worse:
Girl [1:27 PM]: i was at teh B&N and i glance at this guy sorta had a awkward eye contact
Girl [1:28 PM]: and i turn away thinking wow he’s cute so i followed him everywhere he went
Girl [1:28 PM]: hehe….quite obvious, i’m mean of course i realized he’s not as cute as the first glance but still decent looking
Weezguy [1:29 PM]: what did u do, hide behind a garbage can when he turned around?
Girl [1:29 PM]: noo. pretend that i was looking for a book
Weezguy [1:29 PM]: i should put this on my xanga
Comments (27)
i smile cuz its nice sometimes and then.. sometimes i smile cuz its funyn and pathetic.. am i a bitch [=
1st of all that girl shouldn’t be on the phone in a place like B&N, thats like being on the phone in the library! In my experience, if a dude smile at me (which isn’t very often =( *sniff) I find myself smiling back as a reflex. Smiles are contagious! But if it was you smiling at me, I’d just laugh! JK!
Girls smile back as a reflex…well at least i do, i dont want some guy smiling at me and me giving them a smirk cuz imma seem like some bitch who doesnt smile back haha…its just common courtesy…u gotta be nice to everyone haha
if ish not a dood pestering me, i roll mah eyes…but if a dood is complimentin me or just lookin at me nicely, then i smile back to b polite.
hey, u hittin up hh this week?
i think i normally smile back as a reflex as well….altho if it was u..id probbly turn away and *gag* hahahaa… =P
Smiles can be a meaningless courtesy, it’s all about the eye contact!….how long, how often, and if you get that *zap*, feeling, you gotta move to the next level….digits my friend, DIGITS. btw, I love your entries. Good luck on your radio interview!
gotta agree with Katzone…it’s just a common courtesy to smile back when someone smiles at you. Sometimes, when i walk my dog, I’d say hello to some stranger walking down the opposite direction..no biggie. It is all about the eye contact and actually getting a name or a number… if she’s interested, then she’d definitely conversate with you and leave u a number if you happen to initiate.
It’s amazing that amount of information you can distribute and get feedback here. Hope everybody learns in the process. BTW, I wasn’t doing a common courtesy smile, I actually stared @ them for that quick second like she was hot (even if she wasn’t) hehe, but oh well. we’ll see
first…if you smiled and made eye contact….according to girl language…that means you’re interested. i would definately smile back b/c i would be flattered that you smiled and looked to begin with. i think it takes alot of guts to look a girl in the face….hold her attention even if it is for 3 seconds and then smile. my advice….if you don’t want to stay single for long…..keep it up
lol.. jeff were you an ‘eye contacting and smiling’ whore at B&N?? so cute.. girls smile b/c it’s a nice ego high when guys try to flirt in a non-overbearing way..
haha…still being technical using Starbucks name..haha
Why were you wasting your time like that? Hehe, dude, I think gurls just smile back for courtesy, maybe I’m wrong, but you seemed to have a great time…peace~
If I see someone look at me, I usually look and smile, just to be polite.. but if he stares at me, I would give him an awkward look, a look that say”WTF, you are looking at. ” haha.
just giving u some eprop hunnie…
if it makes u feel any better, i’d smile n lick my lips!! lol
aww..thats so cute…u went around starbucks smiling at stanger chicks? hehehe yupp…smiles are contagious, if im in a good mood…ill smile at strangers without thinking.
Nice post, interesting topic, I just surfed in through a friend of a friend of a friend…
I agree with Leeyifen, for the most part I think girls/women smile to reciprocate the courtesy, but as you said, it depends on the type of look you give them as well. I would say this though, the first time eye contact is made doesn’t usually equate to flirting. The exception is if you two are visually locked to each other lasciviously licking your own lips. In this case I would think you two are way past the flirting point and it’s time to hop on the good leg to do the bad thing. But in the real world, at least for me, this absolutely never happens. I don’t think you begin flirting until your eyes meet a second time, this is usually what I look for. Making eye contact with a girl for the first time is just my way of saying I noticed you. It could be Halle Berry or Roseanne but regardless of who, I made eye contact and definitely noticed. However, if I’m interested I’ll look again and if catch you looking too then it’s “game on”…
Just my 2 cents bro, thnx!
courtesy???depends on my mood. when i’m in a good mood, i’ll be smiling at everyone around me. But when i’m down and feeling blue, a smile will only earn u a stare as if u were butt ugly even when u r not. Luckily, i’m more often in a good mood then not. and for those whom i’ve made u wonder about ur desirabilty, i apologize. heheh…it’s not a everyday thing that u’ll receive a dirty look from a not very fine looking gal while smiling at her……
i was xanga surfing and i came across yours! and i must say, you’re very insightful!
after i read this entry, i’m sitting here wondering why i would smile at a stranger … and i guess it all depends on the kind of smile. i’m not sure if you notice this, but there are various kinds of smiles..
if someone gives you the “sweet and sincere smile”, you can’t help but smile back .. and especially if there’s something about that person that is attractive in your eyes.
then there’s the “how YOU doing? rapist looking kinda smile” in which you feel so disgusted that u just want to quickly turn the other way and jet away from that person.
haha anyways, sounds like you could write a book!
hmm.. took pics from click2asia? hehe.. well what I wanted to say about your entry has already been said by dizzycasper above. If someone gives me a nice closed-mouth smile, I would smile back. but if it’s a “hey baby!” type expression, esp. from a middle aged and up or a drunkard-like guy, then that’s just different. =P
hey u dork. i think gurls of all looks and types smile back depending on the guy who first smiled at them. so, dood. you’re IN, man! go for it next time!
*hey j~ how’s the broken ash?? lol…. sowwie to hear ’bout ur injury. hope you get well sOoOoOon…
hey jeff, is ur @$$ okay now? sowwie about that. and sowwie cuz mom was sick and I had to go to hospital w/ her the whole wknd. sniff* but u know me, if u need anything, give me a call<33
smiles back because in a city like NY, where everyone is always too busy to say “hello” to their neighbor on the street, getting a smile brightens up one’s day…
perhaps NY is really not a harsh concrete jungle…
u mean all the guys who’ve smiled at me were just part of your sick little experiment?! geez, i feel like a guinea piggieeeee/so used- hmphh! i shouldn’t have smiled back
jk- hehe- i’m a smiling psychomaniac, willing to blind the world with my shining metal braces
Is this why you and Tuan are at B&N every weekend? Geez weez guy!
just to tell you starbucks is a great place to meet girls
and the best part they are in there intellectual mode they are not going to dumb themselves down! So you actually met a Smart & Beautiful women!