January 7, 2003
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What Women Want!
due to overwhelming response, part 2 is coming soon, let me know which topics u need to know
This guide is for all those hopeless guys who can’t figure women out. Although it’s still 50% a mystery, some things are so easy it’s common sense. (Disclaimer: this is written by a guy and there are many exceptions to the rule, but the majority of it is true).
Girls want guys taller than them. Meaning if you are 5’3″ don’t even think of sitting on a bar stool to fool her. You have to get up eventually. Luckily many asian girls are short.
Girls want guys older than them. Guys are stupid and immature (which is what this guide should help). Some girls are willing to date guys twice their age (but not the other way around). Usually maturity and stability increase with age which women love.
Contrary to popular belief a guy does not have to be hot. But she has to be attracted to him. He may be butt ugly, but may have some charisma, good heart, warmth, or personality.
Girls love to laugh. Depending on her intelligence, and/or wit there are different keys to her funny bone. Some women are dumb as dirt and laugh at anything, while others like corny, dorky, witty, sophisticated, physical, or dry humor. Learn her personality to figure it out.
Not all girls like flowers/chocolates, but if you send her roses in her office that make her peers jealous it may win you some points.
Woman like smart guys, duh. Not necessarily educated (but it’s a plus!) but street smart is better than boring like a professor lecture. He should know how to get along w/ her friends/family and even better make her friends jealous that you are such a good conversationalist and have good perception of when to say “yes dear”.
Example: Woman is upset and quiet. Guy:”honey what’s wrong?” Girl: “nothing” Guy:”R u sure?” Girl “Of course I’m sure, don’t I sound ok?” Guy “ok” (5 minutes of silence) Girl: “You don’t even care what’s wrong???” Guy:”you said you were fine” Girl: “OF COURSE SOMETHING’S WRONG!” Guy: “sorry honey, what’s wrong?” Girl: “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW??” and storms out. This is one of those mysteries. Don’t even think of blaming PMS unless you want total annihilation. Midol is not the magic cure. Just chase after her, hug her and pretend you’re listening.
If a girl is not a lesbian, and says she hates all guys, she’s been hurt by guys many times. All she wants is to be loved and too many guys have caused her pain or disappointment This girl will be categorized as a “project’. It will take longer and a lot more charming, wittyness and money is needed before she gives you a chance (assuming she likes you a little at least).
Girls like guys who have flexible personalities. He has to be masculine, but at the same time can be sensitive (many girls think it’s sexy). He can be goofy, but definitely has to be serious if something is wrong. Most girls prefer the smell of a guy fresh from the shower over cologne (but if you smell, make sure you use that cologne, especially if ur the type that has hair coming out of your shirt even when wearing a turtleneck).
Physical features: Every girl has different tastes, but tall, handsome, good build is a plus. Hair depends on girl. Penis size is irrelevant for long term relationship. For short term it may be fun, but ultimately the personality is more important. She has to be happy w/ the guy. No girl is gonna marry a guy for his penis. But he better know how to use it. A girl ain’t gonna stay w/ a big dick if he is a big dick.
Money: here’s an age old question. Most girls won’t marry for money (any Anna Nicole Chin’s here?) but it’s definitley a plus. Nice clothes, hot car, are nice, but stability and the ability of a man to take care of a lady is the underlying theme. How many guys are befuddled that a girl won’t jump into their Honda Civic w/ purple paint and a muffler bigger than their head? (or for older guys a BMW M3). A car is a tool, not the key to their heart (or pants).
The way a guy macks on a girl is pretty easy to interpret. Hint guys: If you call a girl 5 times a day and she’s busy (or doesn’t answer) STOP calling her. What the hell you thinking? “gee, i called 5 times and she ignored me, but I bet if I call her the 6th time she’ll fall in love w/ me”. NOT. And don’t think you’re so smart by blocking your caller ID, that just moves you from annoying to “get away from me” status. Take what little dignity you have left and pray she don’t tell all her friends what a staulker you are. If you’re on a date, ask her before doing anything, if she’s indecisive then don’t sit there like a herb. Girls like a confident guy. Be thoughtful but assertive
Well that’s it for now. After reading this ladies, am I right for the most part? Does this mean that once a guy does these things that they’ll be a good relationship? HELLLLZZ NOO. This is where you ladies have to know what GUYS want (well besides that). Let me know if you ladies can figure it out. And if this IS right? you should email this to some clueless guys.
btw: this is written by me (w/ no help) and if u forward it, make sure i get credit
Comments (63)
I really like your essay here but you forgot one VERY IMPORTANT point….we want a guy who is honest and not afraid to admit to fault.
Jeff, I’m surprised. Never knew you had it in ya. haha.. A good man is really hard to come by. I amazes me that you came up with all of this. But then again everyone knows the basic rights and wrongs, but yet they still comit the wrongs everyday.
If you are what you preach, then your girl is very lucky.
haha I enjoyed the entry.. you’re hilarious. ^ ^
wow, how long it took u to write this essay. now i need some time to write an essay about “what a guy want”. lol
That was actually pretty accurate. But who said girls don’t marry a guy for his penis? That’s the most important part!
It’s really hard to find a guy who has it all..tall, dark, handsome, intelligent is easy to find…the emotional genius is really hard to find…
So this is what you do at the weeee hours of the morning!! Sitting around n pondering what us women want:) You’re a wise one, my dear:) your gfs have taught you well lil grasshopper:)
hey i was just passing through… and after reading what you posted whether you wrote it or not… i had to laugh
and agree with you! haha so where did this knowledge come from? pretty damn true!! props!!
thats pretty accurate! I could’ve sworn a girl helped you write this. sheesh, even lynnie commented your xanga, she never even reads mine!
Interesting reading. But not very accurate to the general female population. How can u know what women want when most women don’t even know what they want. Easy to draw on an image of what we would want but plant the perfect guy in front of us and we may not bite. I thought I schooled u better than that. U disappoint me. But like I said, interesting reading.
meet you before? hm i dont think so… not sure.
What prompted the relationship anaylsis?
Yeah, I agree with most of the girls that criticized the essay but the example though was espcially accurate, I’d have to say I’m very familiar with that. It’s true, women can be cruel and unpredictable but it comes with the package, either you learn to deal with it or become homosexual. Very interesting essay.
Very Interesting Essay. I give you 2 eprops. =)
Inger Sminger – now although your lil’ research project probably took many years of interacting with many different girls – I must say, there’s still alot to learn. I truly believe that NOT ALL girls all this way. I know – I’m not. I prefer shorter guys over taller. I could care less whether the boy got a ride or not. After all, your Z3 never even remotely impressed me. =) It seems as though – for the most part – alot of girls you know or have encountered – are generally the same kind. Diversity – unlocks many answers.
In any case – you have some talent there buddy. Don’t let it go to waste, ya heard?
Ahahahahah. You crack me up!! Most of the stuff you wrote makes sense. Hey Weez do i get credit for the word “herb” in your entry?
Hello I just came by to read your lil essay here.. Recommended by my good friend sarah~!! hehe Well I found it to be very interesting and very true in some aspects~!!! Well actually from what I have experienced VERY TRUE!!!
hey how come u know so much?? who told u all this?
that was impressive..i never expect to read something like this for free lolz haha…yea jeff i think u should charge everyone that read it…it’s really good.
hey… well iono some things are tru n some arent.. it juss depends on wut kind of gurl u are i guess.. newayz even if guyz do kno all of that.. they are still assholes.. and they will alwayz be assholes cuz thats juss wut guyz are.. n yea im makin a harsh biased statement but thas the type of guyz ive dealt with.. ok i think i should stop commenting cuz im goin to say too much n put u to sleep
yeuh yeuh.. !
it was on the xanga.com page.. yea its really good i posted it on my xanga too [=
-h.
hey jeff~!
overall, good entry, so don’t make me wait for long for “what guys want” 
haha wow this one is longer than the e-mail one, but for the most part it’s accurate, I like the parts in yellow more. call a girl 3 times the most, no more after 3, until she reply to you
i wish i could give you 6 eprops lol.. thanks, i like my site but your content lol.. yea im mandarin too [= name?
-helen
“one of those mysteries”-
is that the tactful way of saying they’re nuts! hahahaa
good blogsite btw- found it thru nyladyinla
This is a really great article. I agree with it!
good job. very comprehensive. but someone told you wrong about one thing. penis size is NOT irrelevant. ok bye now.
I’m absolutely appalled Jeff. How dare you publish secrets from the female handbook!! You shall get lashed for this. *wink*
Girls may say they want all those things that you listed (which seems pretty accurate, BTW, except, as noted earlier, you forgot to mention honest guys), but in reality, even if a guy can provide her with all that stuff, they still can have some sort of excuse to not wanting to go out with you. Call it the “I think of you as just a brother” disease (after all, can’t a brother treat a sister well? minus the sex part, obviously).
im sending people over to your page for some informational reading…
RoFLz Jeffina!!! ahahahhaha
good seein ya @ roseland, n this is some funnie n true shiet! Lolz
heheeee….very accurate bout us woman heehee!!!!!!!….My Bf and I have convo bout this all the time….but you men are all the same when it comes to a woman….clueless….even when u think u know everything bout us…hehehehee
so true… this deserves more than 2 eprops!!
*eeks… so the secrets out. hmmm… that’s no fun! hehehe
*eeks… so the secrets out. hmmm… that’s no fun! hehehe
yo, i think it’s time to look for another house keeper !!!
hi! i found this on helens site [goldfish_x] – wow is all i can say. you sumed it up completely, i could have sworn a grl wrote it lol
-jeanne
wow jeff.. maybe you were a female in a past life =P, or maybe you just have a knack for examining your surroundings and making keen observances.. i hope its the latter..=)
wow pretty impressive
Wow! The essay was very accurate in many ways, and I’m afraid that I’ll haveta agree with it. Can’t believe you wrote it by urself…haha. Good job. I’m gonna take soem lines and def give you credit for it. Great site. Just browsing through. Peace~
yeeep~~ hehe wOws ^_~
nice nice good job =D
“Hint guys: If you call a girl 5 times a day and she’s busy (or doesn’t answer) STOP calling her. What the hell you thinking? “gee, i called 5 times and she ignored me, but I bet if I call her the 6th time she’ll fall in love w/ me”. NOT. And don’t think you’re so smart by blocking your caller ID, that just moves you from annoying to “get away from me” status. Take what little dignity you have left and pray she don’t tell all her friends what a staulker you are”
lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz that is all very true…
but the most important thing, you just have it or you dont.. is the “click”, none of it matters without the click….
Your journal is entertaining. I’ve enjoyed reading your thoughts and views of life and etc..It’s unique from the others..
-Gwen
quite an insightful look at what is going thru the mind of the average “joe”. propz!
what u wrote is pretty accurate…mustve put alot of thought into it keke…write part 2 about what guys want…i wouldnt mind knowing hahahaha
herez ur propz fo writing such a good entry
whoa look at all these comments~!!! haha see lots of ppl enjoy ur random thoughts~!! whoa i wish i had these many fans~!! saved u so if u would like then please feel free to do the same~!! ciao for now!!
haha I stumbled on your page and I think it’s pretty funny considering you wrote it w/o the help of a female ;p
I’m Serena’s my bimbo ;p I met you before? hmmm… refresh my memory?
man, you hit every points of what women wants. That’s good! You should sent this to all ya guy friends and let them learn from you. hehe.
This is strictly confidential information found only in the “How to Make a Guy’s Life Miserable Handbook” with distributorship to females knowing Weezguy. Now, how how did you get a hold of it???
very nice entry =) something i agree mostly with… and with the girl that gets dicked over by guys being a “project”..? hahaha…yes, that would be I. =( cant wait to read Part II =) question: why are guys so indecisive and why dont college guys ever know what they want…also. if things are going well with a guy and he drops you…is one of the most probably reasons because he wants another girl? haha…. cant wait to read what you say.
Hi there. If you’ve got the time, come rate my pic, it’s hotness =) http://profiles.asianxo.com/axo/?ID=1352
take care
hot kristale ice
well well well…..hehehe..
didnt realize u were capable of competent thought. =P hahahhaa….
in my opinion, some of them are pretty accurate and some aren’t.
WHO KNEW!!
YOU ARE GOD!
time for an update !!!! 56 comments is WAY too much !!
Yikes!! Souns like something I read.
“Man are from Mars, woman are from Hell”
good job!
I finally read this… very interesting…
Ok, now we need a guide for asian males who get digits and emails…
hey. a friend recommended this site to me. i think you’re hilariously right on the dot. looks like you’ve put a lot of thought and experience into this subject. propz. =) lookin forward to reading the rest of your entries.
luv your humor !!!! “a muffler bigger than his head” muahahhahahhahahha
or “gee, i called her fives times n she didn’t call me, but i bet if i call her the 6th time,she’ll call me” like DOH????? ehehheeh
LMAO!!!!
nicely thought out~!
i read this two years after you wrote it, but shockingly enough, you’re right on the money. dayam.