How to have SEX for Xangans, part 1 (female version)
Since everyone read What Women and Guys Want (January 7, 22, Feb 14), you should all have been able to get some. But what to do then? Have you all made it to the French Restaurant but don't know how to order? Well folks.... THIS is for you. Straight out of retirement and w/ my parents now unable to read my Xanga (I erased my parent's computer cache), I am free to show you all, what females want from sex. (some parts are rated X btw)
OK, this article is about what goes on in a lady's mind when she decides to have sex w/ a new/different person for the first time. You have finished the courting ritual (dinner, romance etc. etc.) and now it's showtime. Now for you guys, this will be very helpful as demonstrated by the female comments in What Women Want, guys are clueless.
Guys are like water, girls are the kitchen faucet. Whenever you want sex, guys (like water) are always there ready and willing. Girls, like a faucet have to be turned on. Once, the faucet is turned on, here comes the guys, ready to have sex. Rarely is there a drought, when you turn on the faucet and no water comes flying out. When a girl is ready to have sex, she'll let you know in several ways:
1. The Guy Way: let's f**k
2. The female way: she'll start snuggling, and purring, be all touchy, giggly, kissy and gives you the go ahead to make your move.
3. The goody two shoes way: "No, No, No .... OK"
Now, remember, this article is about what a female thinks the FIRST time, she's w/ a particular partner. Now, that both partners have consented, the female has TWO main areas of thought in her mind: What the Guy will be like, and most importantly, what she thinks the guy will think of her.
Most girls are self-conscious to some degree. Obviously, the older, bigger, smellier, hairier, fatter, flat-chested, uglier, handicapped a girl is, the more scared she is. "What if he sees me, and freaks?" "What if he loses excitement when he see's my body?" "I KNEW I shouldn't have had tacos for lunch" "I wonder if Summer's Eve is strong enough". This is the reason why many girls want to have sex in safety of darkness. Obviously, the more beautiful and secure a girl is, the less is her fear of what her partner thinks.
Once her partner sees her body and past the initial shock and awe, and STILL proceeds FORWARDS, she is more relaxed that they want to continue forward. Although still a little timid, the shift now focuses to what the partner is like. I hope he/she has a nice looking body, and no acne, moles that have hair growing out of them, fat folds, or smelly breath. I hope he has a big penis (you can read the penis discussion in WWW part 2). Once her partner has disrobed, she will get the answers to her questions, and either be delighted, satisfied or disappointed. However, girls are less into looks than guys are. If she likes what she sees, she may mention and praise what she sees. On the other hand, if a girl is dissatisfied, mostly likely she will say nothing. She's not going to embarrass her partner and say "wow, I was so traumatized by the hair on your back I didn't notice junior really was junior". She will just not comment. However, now that the physical "show and tell" is over, her next train of thought is how is my lover going to perform.
All people are different, hence, all women are different. Each has their own sensitive areas, own fantasies, fetishes, turn ons, etc. So there is no "how-to book" for you male robots. Think outside the box and see what turns a woman on. Watch her facial expressions, does she like being touched certain places? or dislike certain name-calling? Is she a clean girl, or downright nasty? Sex can be great is if your lover pushes all the right buttons. So her thoughts are, I wonder if they can please me. A lot of girls are shy and won't say anything even if you SUCK. Others, will scream out "do me in the AS*, ...... NOW!!" Whoa, girl, let's give these guys a chance here. Did Columbus find India? NO, he discovered America instead. Well same concept, just because you want to make a girl orgasm, doesn't mean, you'll get there. It's a long journey.
Let's start w/ same safe areas. Now I'm not going into detail as it'll take a while, but try be a good kisser, she'll like that. Under her ears, her neck, back, breasts, nipples, navel, and down to the promise land are good places to start. Some like that hair pulling raunchiness as well as toe sucking, but others don't'. Then you have the vagina itself, as well as the clitoris, and G-spot as well as the anus. Now for you guys that think you know it all, all girls are different. Some girls don't like having their clit stimulated, while others can't get enough of it. So for you ladies, you have to be more vocal to these clueless males. Think about it, if a guy can't ask directions on a map, what makes you think he'll ask now? A girl secretly wants the guy to know what he's doing w/o her telling it, but in the end, guys aren't mind readers so you may have to help them along a bit. The key is to explore her body and see what works and doesn't' work. Tell him how you want it, if you want it slow, and steady or to work that tongue like a machine gun. Teasing a girl brings heightened sensitivity, and excitement. This can be shown by the wetness of the vagina. This is used to lubricate the passageway during intercourse, but is a good barometer to her physical state. The longer the foreplay in various sensitive areas are stimulated, the bigger the buildup in potential energy that may be released. Direct stimulation of vagina as well as the clitoris and the magical G-spot are possible "on buttons". Using your tongue to write the alphabet is a popular stencil for those not imaginarily inclined. Remember not all women act the same way so you should be sensitive to moans, vs, shrieks of pain. Placement of hands and fingers, as well as moisture and temperature of your skin may increase her excitement level. If foreplay is done correctly, the rise in excitement will reach the point where she wants intercourse. She can let you know in certain ways:
1. She will move her body into a favored position where coitus can take place.
2. She may hint to you w/ her moans, that she is ready.
3. She may use the direct form of communication: "F**K ME NOW!"
Now, upon first penetration is the one that is thought with a little trepidation. "I hope THAT isn't going to hurt". This may be due to size, or unfamiliarity of the partner, or perhaps lack of lubrication. Usually the first few thrusts, there may be a little discomfort but turns into pleasure soon afterwards (not all ladies mind you, believe it or not, some ladies don't' enjoy sex at all). As she is on the ride, momentum accelerates and she is on her wonderful journey. Although she enjoys it, in the back or her mind she knows she is in a race. And hope she reaches the finish line first. Actually it's either she finishes first or not at all, since the male always finishes. But at the same time the pressure to do well in this rate, may deter her from her goal. Be sensitive to this guys, and don't be over sensitive in "other areas". Remember, girl's don't' want a minute man.
Girls don't "have sex" they make love. Which means they want their pizza w/ everything. Sausage isn't enough (ok bad pun), they want the romance, the foreplay, the tease, the action and the big "O". Sadly, only about 48% of women can achieve orgasm during intercourse. This is more attributable to the female since everyone lady is different. Some can only get it by masturbating, others through oral, luckily some during intercourse (or better yet multiple O's) and sadly, some have never achieved it. While science, and psychologists the world over and working on it, let me just say I haven't met one yet (not that I would know of course).
Orgasm - the big "O"
A moment in silence as we all bow down in holy reverence ................ This is what we all strive for, (males and females). While there are cases of males faking orgasms, the big Orgasm, to a woman is mysterious god that sometimes does not show, and other times Thunders down in multiple waves. Now only is it unpredictable, in appearance, but its frequency, and strength. We must all Sacrifice Raw Oysters in order to have it appear as strong as it could.
Well what if you're not religious? Well Dag Nab it, we must do it the conventional way. Physically - penis size, girth, and duration. Mentally - "something about him turns me on". Fantasy - role playing, dress up, fetishes, spankings. Psychological - anything in the closet of your mind that restrains you from release.
Girls and Orgasms are like cars. Some girls are lucky and can get it all the time like a good ole reliable Honda Civic. Some girls are like a big Mac Truck, takes a while to get going, but once it starts rolling, get out of the way, come hell or high water, she's COMING, and when she does, she's gonna EXPLODE. Others are like Ford Pinto, you pray, push, groan, and the damn thing just won't past the finish line. And when you least expect it, it'll explode and backfire out the ass. And then we have those temperamental Renault French cars, that you have no idea what to expect. It stops when you want it to go, goes when nobody wants it, etc., it's a big mess. But no matter what kind of car (girl) you are, there's always the tow truck (personal massager) to bring you across the finish line.
After a tough, long, calorie burning journey, climbing the finish line at the top of Mt Everest, she reaches the finish line. WOOHOO!! (applause, cheers, RAH RAH RAH) congrats, but hope he doesn't stop, because many girls can have multiple Orgasms so he better continue. Slowly she can disengage, and would enjoy the warmth of being held afterwards.
The only thing she hopes is that 5 seconds later, the guy doesn't turn on the TV and catch the ball game. Why? Why would he do such a thing? Enjoy folks, part 2 Xanga sex (male's thoughts) is coming, so subscribe now =)
2001 
2002
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Wonder Woman (me) Playing DDR movie (click here)
I hope this doesn't become Weezguy lite version (censored).
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