May 11, 2006

• Weezguy’s Guide to Summer and World Tour (everyone’s invited)

  
  

       

  
  

  Every year after the snow has melted, and the unpalatable allergy season tapers off, we are left with months and months of the warm (or painfully) HOT season. Typically, this is demonstrated by the millions of students who get to prance about free from the shackles of homework, or the poor cubicle worker who decides to cash in on some of their 2 weeks of vacation time a year (that’s right college students, enjoy school while you can, you go from months off to 2 measly stinking weeks).

  
  

  What do people do? Girls diet, starve and vomit themselves like crazy in order to look good in a bikini and a tan, while rice boys steal wax that would otherwise be used for a girl’s bikini area to polish their Civic, RSX, Scion, or emmm, dad’s minivan so they can cruise around the blvd looking cool even though nobody can recognize them w/ their doo rag on.  That’s right be cherubs, summer is approaching, and what will YOU be doing? Take on the warm weather and try to find a loving mate so you can fornicate together? Take on a summer job at Walmart, so you can pay your credit card bills? Lie on the beach like the fat tub or lard that you are and subjectively roast your skin like a fireplace? Most likely try to take off as much time off of work as possible, taking 2 hour lunches, and leaving at 4:30 instead  of 5?  How about the truth? You can’t afford the funds or time to take a whole summer in another country so you write on Xanga about how much your summer sucks.

  
  

  Fear NOT fellow Xangans. Why don’t you buy a ticket to ……. (drum roll please) ….

  
  

  Weezguy’s Summer World Tour

  
  

  That’s right suckers and umm sucklettes.  Instead of spending the whole summer deciding where to go, I have a brilliant idea. How about you stay HOME and let Weezguy come to YOU.  That’s right! For $99 you can have Weezguy visit you! (haha  j/k).  Although it’s just a glimmer of an idea,  I was thinking instead of studying abroad, I would like to study broads (ladies). Ok bad pun.  But anyways, I was thinking of getting an old car and driving around the whole country (with laptop of course).  Whatever big city, or quaint (cruddy) town you live in,  I can stop by and check it out. Who knows? this may take a couple of months, but just me know where your located at, I’ll just visit cities, hick towns, national monuments, battlefields, tourist attractions, bars, clubs, deserts, or even say hi to the local hoe.  Have bad teeth? Who cares? I’ll still visit (as long as you have hot friends). Have no money? That’s fine, we’ll visit the Trailer Park. Or optionally, if you have a week to spare, fly down to wherever I am, I’ll pick you up at the closest airport, and whenever you’re ready to go, you can fly out of the closest airport to go home (but if your boring I’ll leave you on the side of the road).  Is it fun? Check out my previous cross country tour. Click here http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=weezguy&nextdate=10%2f20%2f2004+23%3a59%3a59.999

  
  

  

  
  

  Now, am I serious? Maybe, but it’s a Definite possibility.  Maybe i”ll update my Xanga like the way 95% of other people do, and tell you guys where I am, and my exploits.  Should I take the northern route or the southern?  Should I visit the world’s largest ball of yarn?  Mt Rushmore? Salt Lake? Test the non speed limit of Montana? Anybody want to take the BMW M driving school?  See how hot the desert is like? Try the tallest roller coast in the world? How about the biggest mall in the world?  Ideas Ideas. It’s almost unlimited. Well then again I wish thinking of trying Australia for a while too. Are there any cities or sites that you guys always wanted to see but couldn’t? I’ll see it for you. Wanna check out a hot girl that you haven’t seen for a while? Fine fine, Weezy’s will do this favor but I can’t deny possible consequences .  Better yet, why don’t some of you just join me this summer in Weezguy’s Summer World tour escapade?  Guaranteed lots of fun. We’ll stay at the nicest (or when money is low) crappiest hotels, errr or Motels. We’ll go partying or get drunk in every town. Spread culture or get beat up. Take lots of pictures. Shall I attempt every state? Make new friends? or just plain make out? Well if there’s enough interest let me know. Now IF I do this, and you guys want to come, make sure you are nice. I can’t stand mean bitchy people, or incompetent people (unless you’re hot) then maybe you are good for 100 miles. Los Angeles, San Fran, Texas, Vancouver, Seattle, Atlanta, Chicago, errr DesMoines? Here I come.

  
  

    

  
  

  Let me know what you think.  Want to come? Want me to visit?  Want me to get something/someone for you? My services are limited. Reserve YOUR Weezguy today.

  
  

   

  • 5:41 pm
  • 34 Comments